Well, my television is still broken, so you can't blame me for seeking my news elsewhere. Luckily, the internet is full of wonderful news stories...and if it's on the internet, it's got to be true.
First, there is the final US Presidential debate tonight. I, of course, won't be watching it on TV but Yahoo shows the thing for free over the internet so I'll be watching there. That said, I already know what Obama is going to emphasize since one of his staffers apparently leaked the list to the media a bit early (as in this morning and not AFTER the debate. Oops.)
Now, some of you may belong to more sophisticated circles of friends, and perhaps you are on your way to a Debate viewing party. If so, may I offer a few humble suggestions gleaned from this piece of investigative *ahem* internet journalism *cough*.
According to the article, you are a terrible guest if you bring a friend along, drink heavily, eat all the food before anyone else, smell bad, talk only about yourself, and, most importantly, don't bring a gift. Seriously, I think a kindergartener could have come up with those ideas. "Mommy, I don't Bob to come over, he smells bad and eats my favorite candy." Yeah, good work Rubin and Mauceri. (And seriously, two people co-author that blog and NEITHER of them had the sense to say, "hey stupid, don't post such meaningless nonsense." Ouch.
Now, I thought that was bad, but then I found yet another entry on Yahoo... Apparently there is undying need amongst Yahoo readers to have top ten (give or take) lists about stupid stuff you ought to already know. For instance, today Yahoo featured an "article" on the 10 Reasons You Aren't Rich. I'm not kidding.
You know why you aren't rich? You don't have enough money. There, end of article. Of course, that doesn't satisfy the word count minimums, so Mr. Jeffrey Strain took it upon himself to state such brilliant nuggets of wisdom such as "you buy things you don't use" and "you don't understand value." Sorry Mr. Strain, there are rich people who don't crap about anything...there are rich people who buy things just because they can with no intention of ever using it...you know what ties rich people together? Money. They have it, everyone else doesn't.
And that my friends (as McCain will shortly say about 8 million times), is Today's Stories You May Have Missed. You're welcome.