Perusing one of my favorite Reds blogs, I stumbled upon this link.
With that, I've found a super secret tape transcript from the Reds front office. Unfortunately, you can't tell who is saying what, their names have been changed to protect theinnocent stupid.
Reds' management member #1: "So uh, Corey Patterson filed for free agency."
Reds' management member #2: "Oh no, he was the leadoff hitter, we are doomed!"
Reds' management member #1: "I have an idea, some guy I used to manage..."
Reds' management member #2: "Oh good, your ex-players are always spectacular."
Reds' management member #1: "Yeah, they've learned from the best man."
Reds' management member #3: "Who was that one guy, catcher guy, real good for a week or so?"
Reds' management member #1: "You mean Bako? He's my boy dawg."
Reds' management member #2: "Bako filed for free agency too..."
Reds' management member #3: "Who'd want him!? Oh wait..."
Reds' management member #1: "No no, we've got a better option."
Reds' management member #2: "Who's that? Tell me quick so we can scoop him up before anyone else. Would $3 million be enough to pry him away from the competition?"
Reds' management member #1: "He's speedy quick fast man. Like, he's fast. And a veteran, knows how to play the game. And fast. Oh and he plays centerfield, so I'm obligated to bat him leadoff. And he's fast. Fast makes things happen. Keeps the bases unclogged. I'm telling you, he's fast. Perfect."
Reds' management member #2: "So here's our free agency money - let's spend it on this guy, we'll have a winning team for sure. Who should I make it out to?"
Reds' management member #1: "Dude's name is Taveras."
Reds' management member #3: "Didn't he hit something like .251 last year?"
Reds' management member #1: "Yessiree, he's got speed and he knows how to use it. He virtually never clogs the bases."
Reds' management member #2: "He's not a free agent, we've gotta trade. Who do you think is expendable?"
Reds' management member #1: "Well, Brantley told me that Edwin isn't clutch. Phillips whined last year about not winning the gold glove...he's overrated. And let's throw in Bailey because he's washed up."
Reds' management member #3: "I wonder if the Pirates have any front office openings..."
Sources:
https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiKpcc8eXw7viETQtULDgniNBdmXgDjsG7D6XSUbH0SJurrNLNQwegMb_WsVm1ULckDW6jd0yXeiQOq5t4MGnsb4zIpoauDVML7vZNPnu9y9O53gV8_YLCgj6GSJDOiu3wOxhOwIw/s400/DrunkMonkey.jpg
With that, I've found a super secret tape transcript from the Reds front office. Unfortunately, you can't tell who is saying what, their names have been changed to protect the
Reds' management member #1: "So uh, Corey Patterson filed for free agency."
Reds' management member #2: "Oh no, he was the leadoff hitter, we are doomed!"
Reds' management member #1: "I have an idea, some guy I used to manage..."
Reds' management member #2: "Oh good, your ex-players are always spectacular."
Reds' management member #1: "Yeah, they've learned from the best man."
Reds' management member #3: "Who was that one guy, catcher guy, real good for a week or so?"
Reds' management member #1: "You mean Bako? He's my boy dawg."
Reds' management member #2: "Bako filed for free agency too..."
Reds' management member #3: "Who'd want him!? Oh wait..."
Reds' management member #1: "No no, we've got a better option."
Reds' management member #2: "Who's that? Tell me quick so we can scoop him up before anyone else. Would $3 million be enough to pry him away from the competition?"
Reds' management member #1: "He's speedy quick fast man. Like, he's fast. And a veteran, knows how to play the game. And fast. Oh and he plays centerfield, so I'm obligated to bat him leadoff. And he's fast. Fast makes things happen. Keeps the bases unclogged. I'm telling you, he's fast. Perfect."
Reds' management member #2: "So here's our free agency money - let's spend it on this guy, we'll have a winning team for sure. Who should I make it out to?"
Reds' management member #1: "Dude's name is Taveras."
Reds' management member #3: "Didn't he hit something like .251 last year?"
Reds' management member #1: "Yessiree, he's got speed and he knows how to use it. He virtually never clogs the bases."
Reds' management member #2: "He's not a free agent, we've gotta trade. Who do you think is expendable?"
Reds' management member #1: "Well, Brantley told me that Edwin isn't clutch. Phillips whined last year about not winning the gold glove...he's overrated. And let's throw in Bailey because he's washed up."
Reds' management member #3: "I wonder if the Pirates have any front office openings..."
Sources:
https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiKpcc8eXw7viETQtULDgniNBdmXgDjsG7D6XSUbH0SJurrNLNQwegMb_WsVm1ULckDW6jd0yXeiQOq5t4MGnsb4zIpoauDVML7vZNPnu9y9O53gV8_YLCgj6GSJDOiu3wOxhOwIw/s400/DrunkMonkey.jpg
From MLB Trade Rumors:
ReplyDeleteTracy Ringolsby of the Rocky Mountain News says the Reds have definite interest in Atkins, but not Torrealba or Taveras. The Reds like the idea of adding Atkins' righthanded bat. They don't like Torrealba's price and Taveras' inability to get on base.
So there is some hope... jocketty apparently added that the Reds are talking to lots of clubs, but, "They all didn't allow it to get out."
LOL! lordie, freds! that's funny as hell & your title is pretty priceless!!
ReplyDeleteFunny stuff. It'd be fun to see.
ReplyDeletehandcollated: I saw that. Jocketty ought to be a bit annoyed - BUT - Reds' fans ought to be more annoyed that Jockeety would even mention trading for a Corey Patterson v. 2.0...
ReplyDeleteck: Thanks! Glad you liked it.
Lester: It's only fun when you root for any other team...it's painful through my eyes.
Great and funny post. Very fitting ... but I have to comment on Grant Atkins.
ReplyDeleteHow would Atkins help the Reds as a RH bat? Put his inconsistent bat at 3B to replace another inconsistent RH bat?
Put him at 1B, thus move Votto to LF? Hmmm .. so about about Yonder Alonso who only plays 1B? (Yes, he's probably at least a year away.)
Can he play left field? Better yet, can he hit away from Coor's Field?