Here's the All-Chris Team:
(...because if there is one thing we know, it's that Chris's can hit - just ask Rihanna. Sorry, that was wrong of me.)
1. CF Chris Young: There are two Chris Youngs (one's a pitcher you might have heard of though he didn't make my rotation). The other Young plays centerfield for the Diamondbacks and in only three years has already mashed 56 homeruns and stolen 43 bases. Along with Sabo, Young provides a double-edged sword for opposing pitchers: give him a good pitch and it could clear the outfield, but walk him and he might just swipe second and third base to spite you.
2. 3b Chris Sabo: One of my favorite players, 'ol Spuds is the catalyst of the all-Chris team. Sabo whacked 116 homeruns and hit .268. In addition, he swiped 120 bases, adding a bit of needed speed to the lineup.
3. 1b Chris Chambliss: Chambliss swatted 185 homeruns and hit .279. I'd like a bit more power out of my first baseman, but Chambliss did play for 17 years...so he brings a wealth of experience to the team. Not to mention he's a hitting coach these days, so he ought to help out in more ways than what would simply show up in the morning box score.
4. LF Chris James: James was a .261 hitter with 90 career homeruns. Not exactly great numbers for a left fielder...but most of the Chris's that played LF had similar numbers (a bit of power, relatively low batting average, and relatively short careers). James played 10 years, so at least he's got experience.
5. SS Chris Speier: Speier didn't hit for a great average (.246) but when he connected he had a bit of power (112 homeruns). Of course, Speier had other skills since he ended up having a 19 year playing career.
6. RF Chris Singleton: Singleton swiped 81 bases over his six year career, so although his power numbers are relatively poor (45 homeruns), he can still create havoc on the bases. (And as any Reds fan knows, it's all about the havoc).
7. C Chris Hoiles: Hoiles donned the tools of ignorance for the better part of 10 seasons. He had 151 homeruns and a career batting average of .262 so he's a solid choice.
8. 2b Chris Arnold: Arnold played 6 seasons with a mere 4 homeruns. Second base is clearly a weakness for the all-Chris team...but that was my position in my "playing days" so maybe I'll just step in here...I'm fairly certain that my average wouldn't be much worse than Arnold's .237.
9. P (I'm a National League guy - no DHs here!)
So the lineup has a decent bit of power from top to bottom (except for Arnold). The team ought to be able to hang with most power teams but also play "small ball" when necessary to eke out a victory. The real strength of the all-Chris team though is probably the rotation.
P Chris Carpenter: Carpenter anchors the rotation (when healthy). 100 wins and 1,171 strikeouts is impressive, even moreso since he did it in essentially 9 years (the past two years he only made 4 combined starts).
P Chris Bosio: While Carpenter may be a bit frail, Bosio is an ultimate innings eater. He won 94 games over his 11 year career, but he had a whopping 39 complete games (9 of which were shutouts). When Bosio takes the mound, the all-Chris team always will have a shot at winning.
P Chris Short: 135 wins, 1,629 strikeouts. Yes please, and thank you. Short put in 15 solid years, and while his overall record was only 3 games above .500, that was probably more of a product of being on bad Phillies teams (especially since his ERA was 3.43). Short also logged 88 complete games (including 24 shutouts). Between Bosio and Short, the all-Chris team might not even need a bullpen!
P Chris Hammond: At 66-62, Hammond's record isn't overly impressive. However, 712 strikeouts is nothing to sneeze at - especially when you consider that half of Hammond's career was spent as a reliever.
P Chris Capuano: Capuano sports a rather pedestrian 42-48 record, but the his worst year was last year for the Brewers. For the all-Chris team, I'm hoping for more of the Capuano from 05-06 when he went 29-24 with 3 complete games. While not possessing top-of-the-rotation stuff, Capuano is a solid #5 guy and makes the all-Chris rotation quite respectable!
Cl Chris Ray: Ray is the shutdown closer on the all-Chris team. Of course, that's assuming he pitches like he did in 2006 for Baltimore when he had 33 saves. Ray only has three seasons of closing experience, but that was better than any other Chris's numbers that I could find.
Bench player (only 1 allowed): Chris Dickerson: Dickerson hit .304 for the Reds last year, so he makes a strong bench player. Within a few years, perhaps Dickerson will have the numbers to supplant one of the Chris's on the all-Chris team. Until then, he'll have to bide his time and contribute off the bench.
Negative mention: Chris Burkam: Burkham only played 1 game in 1915, begging the question, is it better to have played and failed or to have not played at all?
Positive mention: Christy Mathewson: Obviously, any team would love to have Mathewson as part of its rotation. However, Christy isn't Chris, so he didn't earn serious consideration.
Of the teams so far on the blogosphere:
All-Chris vs. All-Billy: I give the lineup edge to the Billy team, but I think the Chris team has the better pitching (except at closer where the Billy team trounces poor Chris Ray). I think in a best of seven series, these two teams might go down to the wire. If the all-Chris team had Mathewson I think they'd pull it out, but since he's ineligible by my rules, I'll concede this one to the all-Billy team.
All-Chris vs. All-Kevin: I don't think this one is close. The all-Chris team has an advantage in lineup and (definitely) in pitching.
All-Chris vs. All-Greg: In a one game playoff, the All-Greg team has a chance with Maddux pitching (because you can't ever count Maddux out). However, expand that to any series where someone other than Maddux has to pitch and the all-Chris team ought to prevail over the all-Greg team.